


Reflections

by FannishMinded



Series: Late Night Tumblr fics [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: But could be platonic love, F/M, Grief/Mourning, It is post season 2 but pre season 3, John just thinks he's dead, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, No Beta, Other, Referenced - Freeform, easily, just very deep love, old fic, so it is not REALLY a dead Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FannishMinded/pseuds/FannishMinded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John found it near impossible to say what single moment made him fall in love with Mary.</p><p>However, as he looks at her sleeping beside him after what should have been their eighth date yesterday, he knows he has found the only woman for him. The woman he will marry or die trying.<br/>((Written just a bit after Series 2 ended))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

John found it near impossible to say what single moment made him fall in love with Mary.

It could easily have been the way she stumped him on their first meeting.

It could have been the impish smile she had as she laughed at his frustrations with their first date.

He sometimes pondered that it had been when they had both scarpered off barely ahead of guards and holding hands while giggling like loons after almost getting arrested for trespassing their second date.

It could be the moment Mary had said his name, breathy and panting after they ran, as wild and alive as that first night with Sherlock, the grin turning into more as they looked at each other.

He likes to think it’s not the moment they fall into bed- but he sometimes thinks it might be, and that’s okay.

However, as he looks at her sleeping beside him after what should have been their eighth date yesterday, he knows he has found the only woman for him. The woman he will marry or die trying.

She still looked half dead in the first light of morning, after staying up to look into a mad belief that Sherlock was alive and in London… it had been spur of the moment, madness, he had sworn he had seen Sherlock. Just a glimpse in a crowd, and Mary had not only been okay with his missing the date, she asked where he was. She had brought maps and dashed over to him. She helped him search all night, and all morning, for any traces of the man that meant so much to him.

After the afternoon sun had started to lengthen the shadows, she had been the one to pull him to her shoulder. She was the one that half carried him into the cab, and then into his house. She was the one that talked while he couldn’t and said nothing of the tears that soaked her jumper. All the while not saying how he must still love Sherlock, or that Sherlock was dead, to let him go. All the while not saying any of the thousand things that would have been the right things for someone not John.

Instead she had made him a shield of distractions, had held him, as he clung to her.

And when he apologized, she told him off for apologizing.

And when he was falling asleep, when he murmured the wrong name while she kissed his brow- she had just told him how she couldn’t be Sherlock; but she could be Mary for him.

He had wanted to wake back up, to say something then.

And now, as he brushed her hair back, he knew. John had found someone to make him live again, to make him feel again.

Her name was Mary. She wasn’t Sherlock, and he never wanted her to be Sherlock. He wanted her to be Mary.

Beautiful, brilliant, sweet, impish, caring, emotional and strong; Mary.

The woman he will always love. The woman that makes him feel alive, and whole, in a different, but equal way to the man he will always love.

**Author's Note:**

> Yanno, I expected to not like this fic, find issues with it, 3 years later.  
> Nope, still like it. 
> 
> Also, impressed that is still kinda cannon compliant. Whoo!


End file.
